what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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