I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
