just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
