There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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