grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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