This girl is more easily done than said...
You can't motorboat a personality
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
