do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
