i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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