I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
