I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
