Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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