There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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