Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Thank you for not boning my boss.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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