WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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