addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
