So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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