And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
