those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
