how do flat chested girls get laid?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
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