u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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