There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Randomize
