you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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