It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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