I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
How does it feel to date your dad?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
