he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
