we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
