Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
