She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
