Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
