"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
You have to summon your inner elephant
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
