How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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