its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
