he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
