I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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