what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Randomize
