But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
