So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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