Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
