it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
