You smell like stripper and shame
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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