we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
