I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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