i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I think people are normalizing furries
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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