dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize
