Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
