Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
