So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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