New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize