I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
splinters make it hard to masturbate
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
