Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
NoShamevember. You game?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
