Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
